8 Months!

Dear Linnea,
I can't even believe you are 8 months old. Where has the time gone? You are SO much fun these days...you are really learning and growing, and becoming your own little person. We love every moment we spend with you...you bring such joy to us, and to so many others. We've had a big month, filled with both good times and hard times. Here's what you were up to this month...

You "celebrated" your first Easter...in the hospital...
The week before Easter, you started getting sick. By Good Friday, you were really not yourself, and after a really hard weekend of fevers, lethargy, lots of tears, and vomiting, you were admitted to the hospital on Easter Sunday. We spent Sunday through Thursday at Children's Hospital in Minneapolis where you were treated for a viral infection of unknown origin. You were pretty sick - feverish, lethargic, no energy or appetite, vomiting. You gave your daddy and I quite a scare.

It was a long week, but we were well taken care of at the hospital. The doctors and nurses treated us very well, and really loved you. By mid-week, you really turned a corner and by Thursday, you were discharged. We've had a bit of a hard transition back to our "regular life," but we know it's temporary, and you'll be back to yourself 100% soon.

It's really hard to see you hurting or sick. Unfortunately, we know that this is just one of many times that you will hurt, or sick, or sad....but your daddy and I will do whatever we can to prevent this.

You pulled yourself up...
 Near mid-late March, you learned how to pull yourself up to sitting from crawling. We would find you sitting up in your crib after naps - looking a bit surprised about how you got yourself there! Within a week or two, you were pulling yourself up to kneeling. And just now, as you are home from the hospital, you are pulling yourself up to standing. You are a fast learner!!

This is very true to how you've always been - always active, always curious, always independent. That's my girl! We've always said you would be an early walker. Is it possible that you'll be walking in another couple months??!

You learned "so big..."
The week leading up to your hospital stay, you had "Grandparent Palooza" week because daycare was closed. Grandma & Grandpa and Grammy & Grampy took turns during the week to watch you. Grammy spent a good part of a day teaching you how to play "so big." Sure enough, after the day of practicing, you knew what to do when asked, "How big are you?"

While we were in the hospital we took great comfort in the times that you were more responsive and interactive. Our go to game was "so big." Over and over, we would ask you to show us how big you were. You were so proud to shoot your little arms over your head, and loved when we clapped at you afterwards. Your arms are still pretty short compared to the size of your head, so you can barely get your arms around your head. It is SO. CUTE.

You've grown and changed a lot too...
Just like that, you are looking like a little kid, and not a baby anymore. It's amazing how much you have grown. You still fit into most of your 6 month clothes, but we are pulling out more and more of your 9 month and 12 month clothes as well. You are still wearing size 3 diapers. It's hard to say how long it will be until you move up to the next size.

When you went to the doctor before you were in the hospital you weighed 18 lbs, 15 oz. By the time you were discharged, you were down to 18 lbs, 5 oz. That's not a surprise, since you were barely eating during the time we were in the hospital. We still haven't gotten a "big girl car seat," but we will very, very soon. You are getting to be too tall for your infant carrier, and you are too much of a mover and a shaker to like to be reclined and carried around like that! It's time to move up in the world!

Even when you were sick and in the hospital, your sweet little spirit was alive. As you felt better, your smile came back and so did your personality! You really charmed the doctors and nurses. It says so much about who you are that you were able to be so happy and playful as you were recovering in the hospital. We are so proud of the sweet, happy girl you are becoming!

Although your appetite has suffered recently because of your sickness, you have become quite the baby food connoisseur. You have added more foods, and are definitely starting to enjoy it more. Magna gives you food for breakfast, and we try to give you some for dinner whenever we have time. Magna will likely start lunch with you soon too.

Before getting sick you had been in a good streak with sleep - more consistently through the night. As we've transitioned back home, you've had a really hard time with sleep. We don't know if it's separation anxiety, stress from the hospital, or something else...but you have just been crying and crying at night. Really not like you. We know it's temporary, but it's so hard to see you so sad. Getting back to daycare has helped, as you are falling back into your normal routine. You have been SUCH a trooper, my sweet baby.

I say this every month, but it's the truth. We love you SO much and can't imagine life without you. You bring joy to us and to those around you EVERY day. We love you so much, and are so proud of you.

You brighten all of our days,

Mama and Daddy

 

Linnea's First Easter...and First Hospital Stay

What a crazy last week it has been. Things are finally settling down after a scary, emotional, exhausting experience. Let me start from the beginning...

Last week, we found that Linnea was a bit fussier than usual. She was away from daycare for the week, as our provider was on vacation. Fortunately, our parents were covering for the week. Unfortunately, she was making things a little difficult for them.

At first, we assumed that Linnea was teething. She was fussy, running a bit of a fever, and generally wasn't herself. By Friday of last week, it was clear that something bigger was going on. My parents had her, per usual, and she was really not herself. She was lethargic, wasn't eating well, was really sad, and was running a low-grade fever. Since it was a holiday weekend, we decided to play it safe and take her to the doctor Friday afternoon.

The doctor did a full exam, and didn't find anything concerning. In fact, we had to laugh because Linnea perked up for the doctor - making us feel a little silly for bringing her in. The doctor said to keep an eye on the fever, treat with tylenol, and be in touch if anything got worse or other symptoms arose. We headed home feeling a little better, knowing that nothing was immediately wrong.

Saturday morning she seemed a little bit better. Although a bit fussy, she was mostly herself. However, around noon, things changed quickly. Suddenly, Linnea started crying. Hard. And didn't stop. We couldn't do anything to calm her. We took her temperature, and she was once again running a low grade fever. We called the nurse line, and the nurse encouraged us to go to the ER. It felt a little extreme, and we questioned whether or not we should go, but ultimately decided to go for it.

On our way to the Children's Hospital ER, Linnea was crying so hard and was so upset that she threw up all over herself. By this time, I was really freaked out. She seemed so upset. Something was wrong. We showed up to the ER with a still crying, miserable, feverish, covered in throw up baby.

After getting checked out by the triage nurse, they sent us back to the ER. They checked Linnea over - ears, breathing, throat, nose. Again, nothing looked concerning (meanwhile, she's still clearly miserable, feverish, and crying). Since nothing was found, they moved on to a little bit more involved testing.

They did a blood test. They did a strep test (although strep is rare in infants, Jeromy's mom discovered she had had strep while watching Linnea earlier in the week). They did a urine test to check for a urinary tract infection (which required a catheter...ufff...poor girl). The strep test and urine test came back fine, but the blood test showed that Linnea had a very high white blood count, which indicated her body was fighting hard against infection. Since they hadn't found what exactly was wrong, they decided to treat Linnea with a general antibiotic and some fluids (since she hadn't been eating very well). So they hooked her up to an IV, and we sat with a still very sad, very lethargic little one. The entire process took several hours, but once the IV treatment was done, they sent us home, once again instructing us to keep an eye on things, and be back in touch if anything got worse.

We got home around dinner time, and got Linnea ready for bed. She wasn't much better. Before bed we gave her ibuprofen in hopes to curb her fever and pain. For the second time that day, she gagged, and threw up. A lot. All over herself. Shaken, we put her to bed and prayed that the antibiotics would do their job and that we would wake up the next day with our regular Linnea.

I was expecting a rough night that night. I went to sleep, fully prepared to be up with her once or twice at least during the night. But we woke up the next morning (Easter), and Linnea was still sleeping. 10...11...12...13 hours. So not like her. Ever. When she finally started stirring, I eagerly went into her room, hoping that she had slept off whatever was troubling her. Immediately it was clear that that was not the case.

Linnea was awake, but her eyes were completely vacant. She was staring off into space. Even thinking of it now freaks me out. It was awful. I picked her up, trying to stay cheery and hopeful that was just sleepy. She started crying....but so weakly. She seemed disoriented. She was incredibly lethargic. She was clearly in pain. And she was running a fever.

I tried to nurse her, but she was so weak that she couldn't. We fed her via bottle. She gobbled up milk, which was reassuring, but within minutes (after giving her ibuprofen), she threw up. The third time in two days. We were scared, so we called the nurse line again.

Thankfully, even though it was a holiday, there was a clinic who had pediatricians on staff that morning. We made an appointment, and then spent the morning caring for Linnea. She was so tired. So lethargic. Still clearly pained and very not herself. She slept most of the morning.

Again, when we headed to the doctor, Linnea seemed to perk up. The doctor was very kind, giving her another full exam (the third in three days...). He was hopeful that she seemed to have turned the corner after a tough morning. Although we were suppose to go back to the Children's ER that afternoon for follow-up, he thought that might not be necessary. To help prevent this, he decided to draw blood again to check Linnea's white blood count. He was confident that they would be down, given that she was looking pretty good. After the blood draw we headed home, once again hopeful.

Our hope was shattered a little later when the doctor called, letting us know that Linnea's white blood count was even higher than it had been the day before. He told us to head back to the ER, and be prepared to be admitted. Once again, I was freaked out. We packed Linnea up, and anxiously headed back to Children's. The next 7 hours were some of the worst of my life - and for sure some of the worst of my life as a mom.

Since the source of the infection was still unknown, the doctors wanted to do additional testing. We sat in the tiny ER room for hour after hour with a feverish, crying, lethargic, unhappy Linnea. Each time we managed to get her settled down or sleeping, someone else came into the room with another blood test/exam/procedure that needed to be done. With each nurse, doctor, etc. we had to repeat the story from the beginning. By now Jeromy and I were both sick with worry, exhausted, and frustrated that no one could tell us what was wrong with Linnea.

The tests on Sunday that Linnea endured included additional blood work, two x-rays (chest and throat), tests for RSV and another respiratory illness I can't remember, and a spinal tap. With each passing hour they said it would just be a "little bit longer" until we could get up into a room. Then they said by 7:00 PM. Several more hours passed and around 9:00 we were escorted up to our room.

Linnea hadn't eaten in hours. She hadn't been too interested in food in general, and was struggling to have the strength to nurse. Aside from that, I was scared to feed her when she was so upset, because I thought she would just throw everything up again.

At that time they brought us up to the room they indicated that Linnea's testing was done, and it was safe to feed her. Well good thing I didn't, as within 20 minutes or so of getting settled the nurse said they needed to do yet another blood draw because they didn't have what they needed. Now I know that this poor nurse was just doing her job, and was not out to hurt my baby, but Jeromy and I had had enough. Then, a lab tech came in...strapped our poor little girl's arm, and proceeded to take several minutes trying to find a vein...and then missed said vein. Linnea is SCREAMING through the whole thing and Jeromy and I just couldn't take it. We ended up leaving the room, so that we didn't have to watch Linnea get yet another blood draw.

It was after midnight that night when we finally got settled. We were exhausted, to say the least. We got as comfortable as we could on the fold out hospital couch and recliner. Ugh.

The next several days, quite honestly, are a complete blur. We spent our days in the hospital room, doing what we could to keep Linnea comfortable and happy. Neither Jeromy or I ventured too far away. I think we each took one trip home to stock up on fresh clothes, etc., but for the most part we were hanging out in Room 3104.

Although I hated having to be in the hospital with Linnea (obviously), it was as pleasant as it could be. Some blessings included: a hot shower on our floor that we could access at anytime, a wonderful cafeteria that we frequented at meal time, a card that I got that I could use for a big discount each meal because I'm a breastfeeding mom (how awesome is that?! They said since I'm feeding Linnea, they want to invest in me to make sure I'm eating healthy), wonderful nurses and doctors - especially our main doctor, Dr. Anderson, visitors (ranging from the Child Life Specialist we worked with when Beth was sick to a church friend to our parents to Pastor Paul to a friend from Brooklyn Park) - what a blessing to be so widely loved and supported. The hospital was also good about providing us with whatever we needed. They brought Linnea solid food when she was ready, lots of toys when she was feeling better, mobiles and similar things to help keep her calm and distracted, a exersaucer and a gym mat when she was up for moving around, and a bath tub so she could have tubby time (a favorite!) in the hospital.

Linnea's treatment was honestly pretty basic. She was stable for the most part but there were three things that were main concerns - getting her fevers under control, her pain management, and keeping her hydrated/getting her back to eating on her own. She was treated with antibiotics and fluids for the first couple days. The antibiotics were discontinued when her blood tests seemed to indicate a viral infection as opposed to a bacterial infection. The fluids continued for most of the week because her appetite was incredibly reduced while she was sick. We also treated her with steady doses of tylenol and ibuprofen because whatever she was fighting was causing her quite a bit of pain. By Wednesday and Thursday, we were just working through some pain management, and getting her to eat. By then, she was acting MUCH more like herself.

Early in the week the doctors came and reported that they had found a diagnosis - viral meningitis. We were actually elated, because we had an answer. That answer was short lived...they returned the next day to say that the diagnosis was falsely reported on account of lab error. How frustrating! Although it scared me (and still does a little bit) to not have a precise cause of her sickness, I know that's not super important. What's important is that she was getting better, and the symptoms were leaving. Dr. Anderson was great about encouraging us to "look at the patient," seeing that she was getting better, rather than worrying about what exactly is wrong. He reassured us that it's pretty common (especially in little babies) that they don't determine an exact cause. There are so many viruses and infections that can happen.

Finally, Linnea was doing well enough come Thursday that she was able to be discharged. Her white blood cell count was still elevated, but was on its way down. She was starting to eat better, and her fevers were long gone.

Our transition home has been a little rocky. Linnea is much more clingy after the trauma of the hospital, and her schedule is all out of whack. Slowly but surely we are returning to normal.

We are thankful that even though this experience was scary, it wasn't as serious as it may have been. We are thankful for the wonderful staff at Children's, and for our awesome family and friends who supported us, prayed for us, visited us, and helped us. We are so blessed.

Here are a few pictures from our time at Children's...