Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Taking Advantage of the Disadvantaged, a venting session by Becky W. Carlson


Okay... so I'm sorry that my (our) triumphant return to blogging has to include a couple venting sessions (see Jeromy's vent about labs' Westminster snub), but a situation the other day really got me going. Perhaps blogging will be a good way to vent it all out...

The other night Jeromy and I were headed into the Y for one of our regular workouts. As we were walking in we saw a nice looking gentlemen walking out towards his car. Fine. No big deal. However, the car he was walking towards was identified as handicapped. Now perhaps there was something that we didn't see, but this man looked, at least to Jeromy and I, quite able-bodied.

Perhaps his wife is handicapped in some way. Maybe he was on the tail end of fighting off some sort of injury. Maybe he was borrowing a car from a less able-bodied friend. But what it looked like was that he's taking advantage of something that's meant to help those at a disadvantage.

I understand. More often than not as you are driving through a parking lot most, if not all of the handicapped parking spots are vacant. I understand. At the end of a long day it's hard to want to walk through a cold, wet, snowy parking lot after a workout. I understand.

But here's what I don't understand. What on earth would make you feel so high and mighty to the point that you felt like you were some how entitled to take advantage of something that is simply not meant for you?! There are people, whether they are utilizing them at that moment or not, who greatly benefit from such things. Suck it up, dude. Walk the extra 20 feet and thank God that you have the ability to do so. Honestly.

A related vent has to do with the door opener buttons, which are also meant for individuals who are handicapped. I can't tell you how many times I've walked into Target...the Y...through the skyway and seen people who are completely able-bodied (mostly kids, although sometimes adults), push those buttons for no apparent reason.

Again, I understand extenuating circumstances. Perhaps you are pushing a stroller, are carrying a big bag of groceries or similar bulky items, have a hurt shoulder/hand/arm that prevents you from opening said door. We've all done it. But what if you have no reason? What if you are pressing the button for laziness' sake (or in kids' case...for fun's sake). In those cases, it's a waste of energy and abuse of something that's not there for you.

I'm not a parent yet...but when I am I hope that when my kid goes to press such a button (which I'm sure he or she will), I will take the time to explain its purpose. I will tell my child that God has blessed him or her with a body that can do things like open doors, go down stairs, etc. I will tell them that to abuse such a thing is a waste and quite frankly...lazy.

Perhaps they won't understand. Perhaps when it comes down to it when I actually have kids it won't be a battle I choose to fight. But every time I see situations as described in this vent, it makes me sad. Although it's "just a small thing," I feel like it represents a lot of what's wrong with America... taking things that aren't yours (or taking more than your share), laziness, and not appreciating what one has.

Okay...I'm done. Thanks for reading. Sometimes you just have to vent...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well Becky, I do pray that when you and Jeromy choose to have children they are perfect! In your eyes they will be, but from experience, parenthood can be a very humbling experience. We are often not the parent we'd hoped we would be, our children are often not the ones we expected we would have, and sometimes, after giving all we have as parents to grow our children to kind loving respectful adults, they choose to make assumptions about what they don't really know or remember, and remove us from their lives...forgetting all that was given up for them, leaving us as parents wondering what we did to deserve it all!! Like I mentioned, parenting can be very humbling. My own son pulled a fire alarm out of pure curiosity...faster than I could stop him, and emptied an entire school and had the fire department there in 5 minutes...and there wasn't a thing I could do about it! So, let's not be judgmental, that man walking out of the Y could have been exercising due to his recent heart surgery...many disabilities are invisible...but I won't get started, I deal with that daily in my job!

Becky said...

Nanci,
I by no means was saying that Jeromy and I will have perfect children. Quite the opposite in fact! It's easy for me, as someone who is not a parent yet, to say what the "ideal" will be...and the values I would hope to bestow on future kids. But, like I said in the blog...reality will likely be much different. I certainly know (and love!) the curiosity of kids...and that's not what I was venting about.
I also listed several possible scenarios of why the man might have parked in a handicapped spot... I know first hand that many disabilities are invisable. I also know first hand that some people take advantage of things they shouldn't. This may or may not have been that type of situations.
I don't feel as though I was being judgemental...but I apologize if it came across that way.

Jeromy said...

Whelp, sounds like we're doomed from the start so let's scrap the whole "happy family" goal...You know, since it's obviously so unattainable.

Anonymous said...

Becky...no apologies necessary...public blogging begs for commentary. Be careful what you wish for...maybe if I misunderstood, others might also. Jeromy...not sure why the defensive attitude is showing up...I think a happy family is very possible...everyone has their opinion of what that means...and all I can guarantee, from years of experience is that no family is always happy...but if there's love and forgiveness, over and over, happiness is easy.