Back to Work...

I always knew the time would come eventually, but it came so much quicker than I thought it would! Those 12 weeks just flew, and before I knew it, it was time to go back to work.

Originally, I had been planning to go back on Monday, November 7th. However, those plans needed to be adjusted because our daycare lady was on vacation. I'm really glad this happened, because it helped Jeromy and I reassess our plans, and make them better.

The new plan consisted of me working Thursday afternoon and Friday morning of the week prior. My parents were super helpful in offering to take care of Linnea both days (thanks, Mom and Dad!). Those days were pretty easy. I was happy to know that Linnea was spending her time with family, and the time at work really flew by. Both days were filled with going through e-mails, catching up on changes at work (of which there were many!), and catching up a bit with co-workers. Before I knew it, it was time to leave, and then before I knew it the weekend was here. I don't know that I've ever enjoyed leaving the office or a weekend more. I savored every bit of time with my family, and focused less on the stress of trying to "get everything done." I hope this trend continues. I'm a person so driven by the "to dos" in life, that relaxing from that a bit would be a nice change of pace!

On Monday the 7th I was home with Linnea. She had an awful day! She was fussy, tired, and hungry all day...growth spurt, perhaps? I had to work hard to convince myself that she wasn't aware that I was going back to work, and that she wasn't mad at me for abandoning her.

On Tuesday I headed back to work full-time, and Linnea started daycare. Thankfully, Jeromy is in charge of dropping off and picking up, so he was the one to leave her (I think that would have been really hard for me). Again, work was okay. I stayed busy with catching up, and getting used to being back on the phones. I was thinking about Linnea all day...wondering how she was doing at daycare, wondering if she was having a good day, if she was eating and napping okay, etc. 5:00 rolled around and I headed out, eager to get home to my sweet girl.

I came home to a fussy little one...dinner time for her. I fed her, savoring each moment with her in my arms. By the time she was done eating, I got about 15 minutes of happy Linnea, until she got fussy for bed. By 7:00 she was fast asleep, and I was bawling. I couldn't believe how fast the time went with her. I get home at 5:30, so I only got an hour and a half with her. Jeromy helped by reminding me that we get weekends...holidays...vacations...and really the rest of our lives to spend with Linnea. We need to work to be able to have a family, so that's what we need to do.

Each day got a little bit easier. We fell into more of a routine. The regular night goes something like this: I get home at 5:30. Within about 15 minutes of coming home, Linnea is hungry. I nurse her, and chat with Jeromy about our days, how she did at daycare, etc. When I'm done, we play with Linnea. She gets time on her play mat, has some story time, or just some snuggle and song time. If she needs a bath, we squeeze that in as well. We watch her carefully during this time to see her sleepy signs. She has become a big time eye and face rubber, so she makes it pretty obvious when she's sleepy. Usually about 6:30, she's ready to start the bed time routine. We change her diaper, get her into her pajamas, give her her vitamins, swaddle her, and bless her together. By 6:45 or so, she's set for bed. I usually rock her for 5 minutes, and then set her down. We are so lucky that she's gotten really good at self soothing. More often than not I put her into bed when she's still awake. Within 5 minutes she's asleep, and a lot of times it's without crying!

Work continues to go okay. Pumping during the day is one of the bigger challenges. I can't believe how much time it takes! Unfortunately, I sit in a cubicle, so pumping quick at my desk is not an option. Luckily, there are "wellness rooms" on every floor. I reserve the room through Outlook, so I have a place to pump every day at the same times. My boss has been great in allowing me to do what I need to do. It's hard not to feel a little guilty taking time away like that, but I remind myself that it's for such important work! I've been pumping three times per day: 9:00, 12:30 (during my lunch break), and 3:00. Thankfully, I have not seen any decline in my milk production. I consistently pump around 18 oz. per day during work, which is 3 oz. more than Linnea usually takes at daycare. I also pump before I go to bed, which means I usually get about 2 bottles worth of milk each day, in addition to what Linnea would need for a day at daycare. I hope this continues!

A big help has been learning what to do the night before. I find that the more I can get ready at night, the easier things go in the morning. This includes packing my lunch, packing the diaper bag for daycare, getting my pump stuff ready, and thinking about clothes for both me and Linnea. It doesn't sound like a lot, but it's surprising how it eat away the night!

Anyways...I'm getting a little rambly. All is well. The transition has been...well...a transition. I have good days and bad days, and it's still a work in progress. It DEFINITELY has helped me savor my time with Linnea and Jeromy, and helped keep my priorities straight, and work-life balance in check. It's not an ideal situation (having to be away from Linnea so much), but it's what we have to do now in order to have her. And for her, anything is worth it.